The Battle Of Pestilence
Tuesday April 14, 2009
This story[of the battle] shall the good man teach his son, And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by From this day to the ending of the world But we in it shall be remembered We few, we happy few, we band of brothers. For he today that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile, This day shall gentle his condition.
- William Shakespeare’s “Henry V” play
Diplomacy doesn’t always work. So sometimes, war is the only answer. After a week of invasion and rummaging on friendly territory, I have officially waged war and declared cockroaches (and all its allies) hostile. I don’t care if they’ve existed million of years before humans, they should be extinct a long time ago for all I care.
I killed 10 the other day. Yes, fucking T-E-N in O-N-E day. Every time I killed one, 3 of their comrades will pick up the pieces, camp at damped areas and come at you again once darkness descends. They’re like the bloody Soviets along the eastern front in WW2, in fact, worst. Wave after wave of mindless charges, and might I add, futile ones too.
With manpower severely lacking, fatigue seeping in, resources and morale depleting, a black-ops mission was inevitable. So I went on a reconnaissance through out the house, occasionally venturing behind enemy lines. The expedition paid off, I found the source of their blitzkrieg – a cracked bin shute. (fixed since then, but war still goes on)
Where ever they might be suspected of dwelling in and taking refuge, will be bombed with insecticide back to the stone-age. Any other insects vapourised and / or injured will be considered as collateral damage. The UN (pest loving freaks) shall not interfere with this holocaust as this cleansing will actually do human beings a huge favour.
A global meeting should be held immediately to discuss the Final Solution. All community leaders should round up volunteers and any able body to answer the call of the fatherland. I’ve personally vowed to massacre and eradicate every single last disgusting one of them off this planet till my last breath. And so shall any of my brethren in arms.
Join us. Answer the calling today!
// Filed under: Propaganda
# amirahlee
472 days ago
Had a good laugh reading this! Goodness gracious, you sounded professional writing about cockroach! (I was wondering how to maintain calmness and “un-childish“ness yet cheeky nature when writing about them! Haha) And oh my gee 10 cockroaches in a day! Humans WILL colonize them all and demolish their camaraderie! Oh yeah, I’m feeling it!
Will link this up to my blog.
# KLS
471 days ago
That’s how serious I am at wiping them off this planet.
# Liy
470 days ago
You might get a feature in National Geographic or something man. Maybe minus the explicits. Heh. Can’t wait for the next spread. What’s it gona be on? Lizards? =)
# nas
469 days ago
LOL. What happened to mozzies? no more?
# KLS
468 days ago
@Liy
That’d be awesome, more people could rally around the cause then! The next spread would be on pest still, ranging anywhere from mat-reips to rodents, depending on my tolerance level.
@Nas
I won that battle. But the war against anything that’s bugging (pardon the pun) me will go on till I die.
# Liy
466 days ago
Mat-reips pls, mat-reips pls! I vote for that one!
# Oleg
317 days ago
Hi, nice posts there thank’s for the interesting information.